The Traveller Next Door
By Susanne Pacher, Fri Dec 9th

8. Turkey is primarily an Islamic country. How does thatmanifest itself in day-to-day life? How did that affect you as aforeigner, particularly as a female expatriate?

Being an Islamic country, you hear the calls from the Mosqueseveral times a day. So when looking for an apartment - beware!Don't locate too close to a Mosque. I can't say I missed thiscacophony of sounds when I got back to Toronto.

Ramazan (the Islamic holy month of Ramadan) affected our dailylife since the Turks who fast can only eat before sunrise andafter sunset, the best time to take a taxi in Istanbul wasduring those mealtimes. You didn't have to wait in traffic. Alsothe streets were empty while a soccer game was going on - Turksare soccer fanatics!

Since Turkey is secular, women do not have to cover their heads,and definitely not their faces. A lot of women, originally fromEastern Turkey, did wear scarves, though. Students are forbiddento wear scarves in school. There are definitely more completelycovered women in Toronto than in Turkey.

I was surprised to discover that none of my adult students fromthe language school I taught in part-time had ever been in aMosque. They told me mostly the elderly go to the Mosque forsomething to do. Apparently they do not actively practice theirfaith.

Of course a lot of people go to the Mosque during holidays, asChristians would go to Church during Christmas. Good muslimsmust be kind and helpful, especially to the poor. I found thiswas definitely the case and I was surrounded by kind and helpfulpeople.

Being a non-Muslim in a Muslim country did not really affect me.The Muslim religion is accepting of all religions. One thingthat did bother me was that in many areas only men or coupleswent out at night. The single women now though are beginning togo out. I am not sure if this comes from the religion orculture, or maybe both.

If I was out late at night, I had a very safe feeling, that allthe men were watching out for me to make sure I wasn't bothered.Of course, I was no spring chicken any more anyway.

9. What is your favourite memory of your time in Turkey?

My favourite time in Turkey was when a group of 25 people frommy school went on a trip to South-Eastern Turkey, organized bythe geography teacher. It was about 6 days long. I called thisthe "Magical Mystery Tour" and it was exactly that.

We took a plane to "Gazientep" (famous for pistachios), then wewent off on a mini-bus. We saw the Euphrates and Tigris rivers,crops of lentils, chickpeas, nuts, bridges and monumentsthousands of years old. We went to Urfa, said to be Abraham'sbirthplace. It seemed time had stood still for at least 2000years. I thought we were back in biblical times.

The trip ended at Nemrut Mountain - 4 hours of driving up intothe mountains to walk another ½ hour to a wondrous site ofstatues in the middle of nowhere. The clouds opened up to letthe rays of the sun through, they call this "the hands of God".Spectacular!

10. Through your various travels you have connected with peoplefrom many different countries. Please tell us about yourinternational circle of friends, how did you meet them, whereare they now, how have these relationships evolved?

I now have very close friends all over the world, thanks to mytravels - close in heart, far in distance. I have more friendsoutside Toronto than here and I love them all dearly.

My Australian friends are all from when I taught in Turkey. Alsomy friends in England and one in Toulouse, France. My Europeanfriends are mostly from my stays in Parga, they now live inDenmark, Belgium, Switzerland and Italy. I have friends in Tunisand Paris from my days as a nanny as France.

All my Turkish friends are still mostly in Istanbul and many ofthe foreign teachers I worked with are married to Turks. One ofmy closest friends, a Swiss woman now living in Athens, marriedto a Greek, met me in Toronto as a tourist herself. My friendsin Memphis recently moved to Florida from the Kibbutz and ofcourse there is Camille from Parga, who is originally fromVancouver and now lives in Orlando.

If I were given one wish, I would wish them all here to be hereclose to me. The Internet has almost made this possible.

11. What are some of your most moving human experiences thatyou had as part of your international connections?

An extremely memorable experience was related to my friend Taha,who I had met as a young au-pair in Paris in 1977. He was fromMorocco and a friend of the family, one of

the nicest men youcould possibly know. At the time he told me that 3 of hisbrothers had "disappeared" for political reasons in Rabat,Morocco, 5 years before. The police had come to the door andthey were gone, never to be seen again. No word on where theywere or if they were alive or dead.

Years went by and I kept in contact and I met Taha inAix-en-Provence 9 years later. He was to be married to aTunisian woman. We still kept in contact and then I lost him for5 years. Desperate to find him, I contacted my au-pair father inParis 20 years later. Thank goodness he still had the sametelephone! I found out Taha was living in Tunisia with his wifeand 3 young children. I phoned him and he wanted me to come andvisit as it had been about 10 years since I had seen him. So Iflew from Istanbul to Tunis in January of 1997.

Taha met me at the airport and we went to his beautiful house inSidi Bou Said, a suburb of Tunis. Wow, I had known Taha when hewas poor, where did he get this windfall I asked? He told theincredible story of his 3 brothers who had been released from aMoroccan prison 17 years after their capture and he and hisbrothers had received substantial compensation from the Morrocangovernment.

Taha was living in Paris at the time when he got a call from afriend in Morocco who gave him the news. He had not heard oneword from his brothers for 17 years. He assumed they were dead.Well, they were alive and coming to Paris!

After a month of being treated in a Moroccan hospital theyarrived and the family was reunited. I get goosebumps justthinking of it. The miracle is that the 3 survived and were allsane.

I returned to Istanbul after a week and one month later Tahatold me that one of his brothers, Beyazid, was coming toIstanbul. Taha asked me to show his brother around. It was mypleasure and honour.

But the story doesn't end there. The first night of arrivalBeyazid told me he had to go to the airport the next morning. Ithought he was coming by himself to Istanbul. No - he wasmeeting his friend and lover Maria who he hadn't seen in 25years since his capture. Maria had heard that Beyazid had beenfreed and they had been looking for one another for 5 years.They finally found each other and decided to meet in Istanbul.

I met Maria that afternoon, a stunning now 50 year old woman. Itwas my job to find a place where they could reunite and we couldcelebrate under the motto "bien manger, bien danser, bien nousamuser'" (to eat and dance well and have fun), as Beyazid saidin French. He wanted to go to a place with a female Turkishsinger. All this was a tall order for me since it was to be tobe a very special celebration.

I found a place and we spent the most magical evening and themost magical 2 weeks in Istanbul. Maria and Beyazid reconnectedas good friends and became as close as ever. It was like we werecharacters in our own film, almost surreal. Beyazid has becomemy friend and I have also met another brother of his in Paris,Midhat, who had also been in prison. The 3rd brother lives inTexas and they all stay in touch frequently.

When I see Beyazid, a man full of life, who seems to haveforgiven those who took his life away for 17 years, I find ithard to complain about any little or even big thing for thatmatter. Nothing could be worse than what he and his brothersendured - a living death.

Beyazid - you are my inspiration....

12. How do you still stay in touch with Turkey and what areyour upcoming plans to visit this very special country?

I still visit Istanbul every year. 8 years of friends andcontacts is hard to leave behind. It feels like it is my secondcountry. I dream of being near the Bosphorus, the waterway thatconnects the Black Sea with the Sea of Marmara, and the nexusbetween Europe and Asia. I never tire of it.

I will be there this August and somehow I will also get to Pargaat the beginning of September. Now though I like to be home inToronto at the end of September, beginning of October. I missedso many autumns in Toronto and never realized it was such a niceplace to be.

Yes, it is nice to call Toronto home.

Thanks for your time, Carol. I have really enjoyed yourstories.....

About the author:Susanne Pacher is the publisher ofhttp://www.travelandtransitions.com. It deals with travel toforeign countries and is chock full of advice, tips, real lifetravel experiences, interviews with travellers, insights,cross-cultural issues, and many other features. Participate inour travel story contesthttp://www.travelandtransitions.com/contests.htm and win greatprizes, a fabulous cruise to the Amazon. Life is a Journey -Explore New Horizons.