Sneakin' Veggies To The Rugrats
By Stephanie Olsen, Thu Dec 8th

I consider myself a moderately honest person, at timesforthright and even true. However, I admit to having conquerednew lows in my quest to feed the kids nutritionally-balancedmeals and wanted to share the lies and subterfuges with all andsundry, not only so that your children might heretofore consumedark leafy greens but also that I might spread the guilt.

The new rule in my house was met with jeers, catcalls and thrownobjects, but when I pulled myself together and announced to mydaughters that they were to dine, henceforth and forever more,only at the kitchen table and never, under any circumstances, infront of the TV, they just expressed mild relief that I wouldstill feed them.

Being a fair-minded autocrat, I explained the reason behind thenovel law: that we must be aware of what we put into our mouths,and that we should eat only when responding to hunger and not asa thought-less automatic action. I knew my first grader hadcaught on when she piped up: “Oh, like when you read books atthe table, mom?”.

In an attempt to set an example (we all know that they followour actions, not our words, the boneheads), I now only nosh andread in the front closet where, although bag rustlings, pageflipping and chip crunching are apparently (from all rudecomments overheard) somewhat intrusive, I am out of sight. Andit can be quite a struggle in there, let me tell you – trying tobalance the flashlight, the licorice and the

People magazine isone thing, but getting at the Diet Coke in my jacket pocketwithout spilling! However, I try not to complain too much – it’sjust one of those things a mother has to do.

When another brainstorm hit, I was nearly floored by myself infull admiration and will accept any and all nominations forMother of the Year or Saint. When the girls were watching one oftheir educational videos (it was either about dolphins orScooby-Doo, I can’t quite recall), I brought in a bowl of cooledbroccoli, which I had earlier steamed, decorated with sweetmandarin slices. I may have been in the throes of my cuisineartistry course or perhaps it was simply some kind of fit, butthe food looked pretty and the girls loved their snack in frontof the TV. And the statute in my house has been amendedaccordingly: you may eat as much as you want while watching thetube, as long as it’s vegetable or fruit, steamed or in itsnatural state.

As a final bid for sainthood, let me bare my soul and confess toone last prevarication: the Shepherd’s Pie I made last week? Theone with green potatoes on top? They weren’t green potatoes,hon. They were regular old mashed potatoes with chopped spinach!

Gotcha!

About the author:Stephanie Olsen, published writer, homeschooling mother of twoand ESL teacher currently residing in Europe, is also owner ofthe expatriate site, Family Life Abroad ~http://www.familylifeabroad.com ~ where you'll find humorous andinformative articles by experienced expatriates on all aspectsof living abroad, with lots of links and travel tips.